TLDR: To reach a new level, create a new foundation.
It’s not that deep
“It’s not that deep.”
My son used to say this all the time.
And it annoyed me to no end, regardless of whether it was directed at me or someone else.
“It’s not that deep” is the kind of thing you can say no matter what the circumstance. And it’s a conversation ender.
The worst usage is when another member of the group expresses curiosity about something someone else said.
For example:
Kaden: “Whoa! Did you guys see that bird?!”
Group: “Omg yeah that was crazy.”
Ralphie: “Wow, I wonder what kind of bird that was. Maybe a spotted wren?”
Kaden: “Bruh it’s not that deep.”
Group: <chortles of approval>The Wu-Tang names generator
I took my kids to see Childish Gambino and opener Willow a few nights ago. The concert was epic.
I’ve always thought Childish Gambino’s name was so clever.
I even thought about it a couple times during the concert.
Except I found out today that Donald Glover, who was mixing tapes while starring on Community, got his name from… a website.
The Wu-Tang Names Generator gave him one of the best names in showbiz.
Here I was thinking, “Wow, he’s a violent mobster inside but also a kid at heart who just wants fun and a hug and doesn’t know better.”
But, bruh, it’s not that deep.
The moral of the story: two kinds of drive
Okay, so my Childish Gambino metaphor would’ve been a lot cooler if Donald Glover and I had been thinking the same thing… vs. myself and an early 2000s website having a thought in common.
Nevertheless, I’ve been thinking about what drives us.
What drives Type A people?
What drives someone like Steve Jobs or Elon?
What drives successful artists?
Is the source the same?
What drives me?
After a lot of introspection lately, I’ve realized that there have been periods in my life where I was driven by the wrong things.
Perhaps obviously, this led to the wrong results.
Even if I got what I wanted, it wasn’t really what I wanted.
There are two kinds of drive:
- Impure
- Pure
The first one is the default one. It’s drive based on fear, greed, sex, shame, and social acceptance.
The second one is based on love, peace, curiosity, generosity, and flow.
You have both inside you.
Does all this sound namby pamby?
Sure.
But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
Ask yourself: What am I doing all this for?
You might be worried that calming down and doing things out of love for yourself and others will cause you to lose your edge. To lose your ambition. To slow down too much.
In my experience this is not the case.
If you want to get to the next level, you need to establish the right foundations.
You can’t set the right goals if you don’t have a calm mind.
You can’t build the right habits if you are chasing the wrong rewards.
The thing is, you can’t be happy if you don’t fix how you feel about yourself.
Most adults are just kids in big bodies.
The overwhelming majority of those kids are afraid and need a hug.
Those kids grow strong and get money and weapons (figuratively and literally). And they use these resources to feel better about themselves.
Drive based on fear and shame turns people into narcissists and tyrants.
I’m not gonna tell you you can’t succeed based on impure drive.
You absolutely can.
But do you want to be a “successful” but miserable jerk?
Consider where you’re going and why.
Maybe it is that deep after all.
