What you believe becomes true. 

Sri

You Pick 2

My kids like to go to Panera sometimes when we go out for lunch. 

Panera has a menu option called “You Pick 2.” Mix and match to your heart’s desire between: 

• Salads,
• Sandwiches, 
• and Soups.

I once heard a guest on a popular startup podcast describe a similar menu option for bootstrapped startup founders: 

• Spouse
• Kids
• Friends
• Day job
• Startup

“You get to pick two,” he said. 

Talk about harsh truth.

VC-backed startup founders have a You Pick 1 option. 

Think: omakase. Except your chef wears a Patagonia vest – no matter how hot the kitchen gets. 

I’d so pay to see Ralph Fiennes in a Silicon-Valley satire. And I know we’d all pay to see Anya Taylor-Joy in anything. (The Menu, 2022) 

(Don’t get me started on French dudes wearing scarves in meetings.) 

Also, apologies, I can’t remember or find the reference to that podcast quote.

Sam I Am

Bear with me: This is about more than startups. 

We’ll stick with that example, though. 

👀 So… 
Is that “harsh truth” actually true? 

Amen to focus. 👼  And “hear, hear!” to being sober about reality. 📣

And TONS of successful VCs and founders echo the same wisdom. 

Sam Altman was president of Y Combinator before OpenAI. Here’s his take from a 2014 Stanford talk he gave called "Before the Startup":

"If you start a startup, it will take over your life to a degree you cannot imagine. And if your startup succeeds, it will take over your life for a long time: for several years at the very least, maybe for a decade, maybe for the rest of your working life. So there is a real opportunity cost here."

Of course, (a) he’s talking to college students. They have zero responsibilities and way less work than they imagine they have. 

(b) The same thing could be said for tons of other paths. Substitute “doctor” or “lawyer” or “investment banker” or “Navy SEAL” – and you get the same result. 

By fixating on “startup,” Sam’s advice makes founding a company seem like more of a one-way door than it is. At least relative to other ambitious endeavors. 

Worse, I think it tells the listener that they have no agency. 

🧙‍♂️ Like some Gandalf figure, he’s saying “Choose this path, but beware.”

As if we even know the path at the start – rather than discovering it.

Or creating it. 

You, Almighty 

What if your beliefs became true just by virtue of you believing them? 

I’m not getting woo here on you (yet anyway 😅). Let’s play this out: 

Alex is a hyperfocused, hyperambitious guy. He coined a new term – “fo-bitious” – and has gotten all of his bro friends to start using it.

They’re all adrenaline junkies obsessed with getting rich – and fast. 

Alex reads a blog article by some other fo-bitious guy that repeats the “Pick 2” advice and ups the ante:

“Serious founders pick 1.” 

So he founds a startup in the most extreme, high-stakes, zero-balance way possible. (Making millions won’t be enough. Watch out, Zuck!) 

Thereafter, through his actions and words, Alex trains his cofounders, investors, customers, and (worst of all) employees that Alex Picks 2. 

So what happens a few years later is no surprise. Alex’s wife Svetlana has their second kid and pleads with him to both be a more present dad. Maaybe even take her out on a date every now and then. 

But Alex “knows” he can’t.

What he doesn’t know is that his life has calcified around a belief that might be false. 

From the start Alex made a lot of latent tradeoff decisions. These had the effect of ensuring that his belief would be proven correct. 

Sometimes we IMHO misapply an English shorthand for this: “self-fulfilling prophecy.” 

But there’s no oracle at play. No divine messenger. 

We – and our guy Alex – have wrought reality, with a thought. 

Like a god.

As a counterpoint, consider this from trcollinson on a HackerNews thread called “Y Combinator, a Two-Year-Old, and a Pregnant Wife”:

_{[emphasis added, one typo corrected]}

We get into a mindset that this is the only way to start a business [...] 

Can a business take over your life? Absolutely not! Can you allow a business to take over your life? Absolutely!

I have been involved in and started a number of successful businesses. I am also actively involved in my marriage [...]. I have 6 kids. I go to birthday parties, soccer games, teachers meetings, and camp outs. I even volunteer at the schools.

What happens when someone wants to schedule a meeting when my wife has dinner ready? I tell them to move it.

What happens when an investor flies in and wants me to take them out for a night on the town when it's the choir performance night at the elementary school? I tell them I can't.

[...] Now, have I missed things? Yes. But I have gotten pretty good at looking at a schedule and planning around things. I want a close personal relationship with my wife and kids, so I have made that my priority.

When people ask me how I do it, I tell them honestly. I am the CEO/CTO/CIO, I make the rules for me. I am not a slave to my company nor its success.

My reaction in two words:

Fuck. Yes. 

Obviously if your business is on the brink of failure, you need to do whatever it takes. 

But if “whatever it takes” lasts three years, then what do we think?.... 

• Is it possible that your brain is continually hunting for proof of what it already “knows”? (confirmation bias) 
• And has the past taught you that stepping outside your limiting belief “doesn’t work”? (learned helplessness) 

Is the problem the business? Or is it maybe you?

Keeping the Faith 

Faith can be defined as believing in something we cannot see. 

If we want to do something great, we need to have that kind of faith. 

❌ But don’t make the mistake of believing in the goal. 

Believe in the way. 

The reasons for this strategy are many: 

✅ Reduce comparison against others
✅ Avoid being overwhelmed by a daunting challenge
✅ Emphasize habits and identity over short-term results
✅ We overestimate our ability to foresee challenges, support, ideas. 

Can You Keep A Secret? 

The secret is:
There is no secret.

Sri

Everyone wants a playbook. But the arc of our life is shaped less by tactics than fundamentals. 

There is a saying attributed to many throughout history including Buddha: 

What we think about expands. 

Manifesting sounds woo. 

I mean, if you go by how most of its proponents explain it, then it absolutely IS woo. 

Yet… You can shape your reality through: 

➟ Belief
➟ Environment 
➟ Where you focus
➟ Who you surround yourself with 

You can limit yourself.

Or set yourself free. 

Either way, your mind is expanding the thought. 

“I’m gonna be the number one rapper in the world.” 

–Kanye West, early 2000s. 

🤔 Did Kanye believe because he was certain of the path to success? 

Or was it the other way around…?
Did he succeed because he believed?

“As you start to walk on the way, the way appears.”

Rumi

What are you afraid of? 

❤️ Andrew

Coda

Aziz Ansari’s character in Parks and Rec, Tom Haverford, says during one episode about a caterer cook-off: “But number three’s told a story. A story from a book I wouldn’t read, but I would watch the movie of.” 🤣

That’s like The True Believer for me. I have not read it (yet), but apparently it’s foundational. It was referenced all the time in the military during the Global-War-On-Terror years. 

For this particular book, I’m less interested in the “mass movement” part than potential explanations behind the proclivity of young men to radicalize. 

And oh yeah, Parks and Rec is waaay better than The Office. 🫣

Outro 

If you thought this was gonna end with “Keep the Faith” by Bon Jovi, you are sorely, sorely mistaken, my friend. 

For any fans, look up the song’s meaning when you’re not on a work computer.

The lyrics will forever make more sense.

"The more y’know." 🧠

Cheers

Get unstuck, and crush it. Double period. 🔱