Are you really focused on results?

TLDR: Deprogram what school taught you.

Introducing Shrekfast 🍳

I had this idea today.

No, it’s not where we fry up ogre belly and eat it with eggs in the morning. Though someone should try that.

The idea was that Disney could have a themed breakfast at one of their many kingdoms or hotels based upon Shrek’s world.

Of course you’d have the characters there mingling it up with children in a way that would be way too uncomfortable for everyone were the adults inside the costumes not… umm.. inside them.

And the food could be green and “disgusting” to the eye, in the way that excites kids of all ages.

There’s only one problem.

Okay, two problems:

1. The obvious one: Disney would sue the f*&^ out of me. Chances are some Disney lawyer has already seen this and I’ll be eating a cease-and-desist order for my own breakfast tomorrow.
   
2. The insidious one: My motivations for entertaining this idea aren’t great.

Stupid Games, Stupid Prizes

Okay, obviously I’m not gonna open a restaurant right now. Maybe one day.

When I make it big like Jimmy Buffett I can open up whatever restaurants and retirement communities I want.

But restaurants have low potential market sizes and, as a rule, low margins. Food service also doesn’t scale; each marginal dollar takes the same effort to produce as the previous one.

Not to mention the fact that I have zero experience.

Unless you count my time in the dessert business. [2]

So it’s not like I would open the restaurant myself.

Oh no, don’t be silly.

I’m not looking to actually produce something here. 🤣

What we’re really all about

Someone once said that everyone is motivated by sex and money — and that the money is really about sex.

There’s a lot of truth to this.

But there something else we all crave:

➡️ Validation

You can call it love. Or some of you might well tie it to sex in some way.

I’ll punt.

But we need people to tell us, “Oh, Johnny did such a good job!”

My plan I hatched in all of five minutes thinking about Shrekfast: The Eggventure! was that I would write an awesome letter — no, wait!, make a TikTok video! — about the idea.

Adults are just kids in big bodies.

After a groundswell of support from TikTok users, it would come to the attention of whoever is wearing Michael Eisner’s suit right now.

And then they would launch Shrekfast to great faux-forced fanfare (like the villain in the movies — see how clever Johnny is?!).

Then Mr. Beast or some sort of Master Beast also-ran would make a video about it! 🎉

And then what?

What do you mean, “And then what?”

Like, I win! It’s donesky. We shipped it!

We’ve made something cool!

Then again… I didn’t really do a whole lot.

I came up with an idea, albeit a really cool one, in my car.

Then I made a TikTok video.

I also created a TikTok account, since I didn’t have before I hatched this whole plot.

So that’s something. 🤷🏽‍♂️

Results?

Yeah, we will have made no money from this.

…yet wasted a lot of time.

And if we probability-rate this thing, the chances of success are not that much worse than launching a unicorn startup.

And we would have done the whole thing just so people could realize that we’re pretty creative (sometimes).

Check Yo’self

Ask yourself these questions today

1. What are you doing that you’re doing to show people you’re smart?
2. Or talented?
3. Or worth loving?
4. Could you focus on something that improves your life instead?

Despite what 18+ years of school taught you, being right doesn’t matter.

No one cares.

Make something that matters.

🌊 All the way wet

(aka the footnotes)

[1] The insidious one

Does it strike anyone else as lazy that George Lucas came up with a name like “Darth Sidious”?

I mean, if we’re talking about a children’s book, then you could give Sith lords Native American names like “Darth Hates-Bunnies.”

But cmon.

That one was borderline JK Rowling.

[2] I worked at Dairy Queen for two years in high school 🙂

Wish I had a picture.

Coda

“Anything for pookie”

Ryan Trahan is pretty great. He also has Shrek memorabilia in his house.

Outro

I had two migraines this week despite not having any in over a year.

And then this banger came on again.

Frank Black: Headache