This all occurred to me in the span of two games schooling my daughter ;)
- Don't want what you want to get it.
When I was a kid, I loved tennis. I wanted to go pro. When I played points, I really didn't want to lose. I got anxious before serves (especially second serves) and easy winners, and what do you think happened? I lost more points.
The Inner Game of Tennis crushes this lesson (at least implicitly): care less = play loose = win more (and maybe even enjoy the process). - Seek flow, not results.
If you seek wins, they often elude you. To be clear, sometimes if you seek flow (or enlightenment), that eludes you, too. But the latter set is easier to achieve, and you can develop your own process for seeking them.
And flow feels great.
Bonus: It's sustainable. Highs from results are transitory and potentially toxic.
(DM me if you want me to share my own process for getting into flow.)
Summary: My journey is by no means over. But I can reflect now that my biggest failures in my life may be because I wanted the thing too much.
Ironically, Mark Manson's Subtle Art... doesn't actually teach people how to not give a f—. I'll probably address that in the future. Just know, that's the key.
Mindset•Performance•Habits